The Half That Didn’t Happen


As I write this I’m laying in bed under the blanket, I just finished a Lärabar (yeah, it’s my lunch, at 3.40pm) and I actually just stopped crying. Almost.

The start of this year didn’t end up being the way I imagined and pushed for it to be.  January 3rd I was forced to stop running due to my foot injury. And not only did the injury stop me from doing something I love to do, but it also took a lot of energy away from me. You know how running can turn a whole day around? You wake up feeling kind of crappy, but you get out there to run and once you’re done running (probably even during the run) everything just feels better. It feels like I’ve had one of those mornings for months now. I just feel off, and I haven’t been able to run enough to shake that feeling off.


Tomorrow is March 17th. That magical date I had in mind for my first Half Marathon. In Hilo, the closest town to where we live. Since I ran my first race in August that half has been on my mind. The thought of finishing my first half have had me SO motivated and made me fall in love running even more (didn’t think it was possible). But yeah, March 17th 2013 is no longer the date.

I know that I keep saying that I stay positive. I remind others of doing it too, but both you and I know that even though you fight really freaking hard to stay positive there’s going to be days when it just doesn’t work. When you give it your all, but it’s still not good enough. I’ve been doing good. I really have. Even though I wish I could’ve just been running this whole time I feel proud of the fact that I was able to focus on other things during the time I spent injured and banned from running. I did good.

But no, it just doesn’t help much today. I really wish today was a day full of pre race jitters, of preparations and lots of focusing on other things not to go nuts because of the nerves. I wanted this day, March 16th 2013, to be the day before the big day. And I wanted it so bad!

Today is a day of emotions spread all over the place. I am sad. Disappointed. And I can’t shake it off, it’s just the way it’s going to be. I didn’t plan on getting injured, who does? And it sucks that it happened. It really does. But of course I’m going to survive! I’m going to cry this out and then move on. I’m lacing on my running shoes at least 3-4 times a week from now on, I’m not running far right now, but I will. I will work hard, re-focus and go get that half!


Nothing, no injury, nothing else either, can take the love of running away from me! And that is what matters in the end. I might have lost 2 months of running, I might have lost some stamina and put on some weight but I haven’t lost my love. I’ll be back. Be warned, whatever Half coming my way… I will get you!


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How Am I Doing with My 2013 Goals?

March is already here and I wanted to do a little recap of the start of the year and how I’m doing with my goals for 2013.

1. Run 1300k in 2013

As I’ve been injured and resting from running for more than 7 weeks this year has obviously not started in a good way when it comes to any of my running goals. I’ve only been able to run … times this year and two of them was while being injured and not ready to start running again. I ran the first time post injury Feb 18th (1.4 “glorious” miles which you can read about here) and have been getting a few more short and easy runs after that. My foot is better, and even though I feel it when running I feel positive about me coming back to running again. In a month from now I’m hoping to get some more miles in and be able to start looking forward to and train for some races.

2. Finish my first Half Marathon

Didn’t happen as planned. March 17th is out of the question. But I’ll get another Half done, hopefully during the summer and at least before 2013 is over.

3. Get a Drivers License

I didn’t study much at all before I hit the written test on a whim. And I passed! So now I have my Learners Permit and is good to go when it comes to practicing driving. My husband is a great teacher and I’m going to work hard to get that real license in my hand during the spring.


4. Drink more water

We bought some awesome Contigo water bottles at Costco and since then I’ve been doing really well with my water drinking. I usually drink around 70 to 85 oz per day which is A LOT better than I did during 2012. Actually, pretty much the only things I drink now is water and coffee. If there’s fancy drink offered to dinner or so I go for the water. 9.5 times out of 10. I’m pretty proud and amazed by myself actually!


5. Work my physical strength up

I started out the year with getting going on some serious strength training at home (we lived and still live pretty far from a gym, so I’m happy with working out at home), and I’m still going hard on it. I try to get in between 3-5 workouts per week and because of the no-running situation I’ve had tons of energy to use when it comes to this. I also jumped on the #AbsByApril Challenge started by Megan and this definitely helps me stay motivated and going strong. Unfortunately my abs are pretty much invisible so far, not being running have me hungry. And I mean HUNGRY. Someone told me it makes perfect sense that I’m feeling more hungry when not running at all, and wether it’s true or not I can’t tell you I’m stoked about the few extra lbs I’m carrying. Anyways, I’m stronger! I do way more reps and sets now than I did when I first started working on this. And I love the burning muscles post workout!



6. Get better with staying in contact with family and friends

I’ve been trying, but this is a little hard… As much as I want to talk to m family and friends, it just makes me sooo homesick and I tend to escape from calling them all (which of course makes me feel bad anyways). But I have been Skypeing and texted through Viber with grandparents, parents and brothers. Love them! And really CAN NOT wait until I get to see them again.






7. Eat better

This turned out to be easier than I though. As we moved to a new place and have a better kitchen (more space, both for cooking and storing food) I’ve been eating healthier and more regular. I’m thinking of going towards a clean diet but I know myself well enough to realize that it probably won’t last very long. Especially if I can’t convince my husband to do it with me, I tend to get jealous of whatever he’s eating and say “what the hell, one pizza won’t hurt!” or something like that.. We’ll see what happens! I am happy with my eating habits, but am always struggling with a little bit of a.. Problem belly.



8. Choose JOY

When I got injured I was worried about my mood and I made the decision to really do my best to stay positive and NOT let this setback hit me too hard. I managed to stay happy, smile and find energy even though the running didn’t happen as I wanted to. I’ve been doing good. Of course, I’ve had some bad days (don’t we all?!) but I’ve been letting them go, recharged and started over with new energy and focus the next day. Choose joy is one of my main goals in life in general, simply because that darkness I’ve dealt with earlier in my life is not welcome back.



9. Run as many races as possible

On hold until I’m back to normal with my running. I just signed up for Run with Jess‘ Virtual Race The Jelly Bean 5k. I thought it would be a good way to start getting back into doing races post injury.



10. Read books in English

Success! I might just have read one book so far, but I did it good. And such a good first book I chose. “Born to run” by Christopher McDougall. I enjoyed this book so much I cruised on through it and even had some sessions when I read out loud to my husband. Interesting book! Brought on some smiles, tears and a lot of AHA!’s and new knowledge. I’m going to keep on going on the running theme when it comes to coming books to read. I already started with Haruki Murakami’s book “What I Talk About When I talk About Running”.



Q: How are you doing with your 2013 goals? Are you happy with the first couple of months of the year?


Half Marathon Training is Off

As you might have read a few times by now, I’ve been off running for a while due to a foot injury. It’s been tough not being able to run for over three weeks now, but I know that I’m doing myself and my body a favor. The foot is much better, although it seems like I’m still a little ways away from actually getting back to running. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to go for an easy run/walk Monday morning, but as I woke up with pain today I really don’t know if it’s time to start pushing it or not.

I only just started my Half Marathon Training Program before this foot injury happened and now, as time pass by, I’m pretty sure there will be no Half done in March. I’m afraid of getting back to running and because of the time limit push too hard and only make it worse in the long run. So, as for now (if I’m not getting back to running this coming week and it feels GREAT) Half training is OFF.

It sure feels like a TOTAL bummer, I was looking forward to that Half so much, but I know that there’s a bunch of other races I can do. Shorter ones during the spring AND other Half Marathons in the summer. There’s the Kona Half Marathon and the Rain Forest Runs 13.1 (the race in which I ran my very first race) in August.

I will get through this injury and I’m aiming at doing it smart (even though my body and mind most of the times tells me to “PUSH IT, RUN, NOW”) to make sure running and I will stay happily in love for a long long time.


10 Goals in 2013

Most of you bloggers have already done a blogpost sharing your goals for the year of 2013 and here comes mine. I know we’re already almost done with January, but I got totally sidetracked by the move and my foot injury, and I’m thinking that it’s better to get it out there late then never?

As you’ve all understood by now, I’m all about running. Year 2012 was the year when I started to run and when it really made a big difference in my life. As I got more and more into running I grew stronger and more confident in not just my body but also in my mind. I’ve found a way to channelize my anxiety and stress, a way to be on my own without feeling lonely and I’ve become a person that smiles a lot more and feel happier inside and out. Ok, there’s other things in my life that make me smile and feel happy but running is definitely a big part of my wellbeing.

2013 is going to be the year I continue to run. It’s time to further develop as a runner and work more on both my mental and physical strength, but it’s also a year to work on other goals in life. I’ve been thinking a lot about what goals to set up for this year and here’s the result:

10 Goals For 2013

1. Run 1300k in 2013

It was hard for me to set up a goal like this, because I really don’t know how far I can get in a whole year of running. But during the months of 2012 (a little over 7 months) I managed to track 525k and that was just my starting out as a runner. As I’m hoping to do at least one Half Marathon and seeing what the training programs for a Half brings when it comes to amount of kilometres, I think that 1300k is doable. I’m aiming for it at least.


2. Finish my first Half Marathon

As mentioned above and in earlier posts my goal is to do my first Half Marathon this year. I know I have what it takes and that I can get it done. I WANT it. BAD! Now it’s just a matter of time. Will my foot heal enough to let me do one in March? Maybe. If not, I’ll do another one!


3. Get a Drivers License

I’m 30 years old and I don’t have a Drivers License. To be honest, being in this country I feel like a total weirdo not being able to drive. And it’s not just that, the fact that I don’t drive is making my life a little bit tough too. Getting around here without a car is not that easy (oh yes, I could always run, but unfortunately that doesn’t really work in the real world – BUMMER!) and the plan is for me to get a job here soon which will require some commuting and a car. So, this coming month I’m getting on top of this situation. My goal is to have the card in my hand and being able to drive our beautiful Volvo this spring. Looking forward to it, but I must confess I’m also a little bit scared..


4. Drink more water

Always. I need a constant reminder of this. As I’ve never been very good with taking my hydration serious (I tend to go for coffee when I feel like something to drink) I quickly realized that living in Hawaii this needs to be prioritized., even more so now than ever. I got myself a nice Contigo bottle and so far it has really helped me with my water drinking. But, I can’t stop now. I need to keep doing it. Every day, all year around, no matter where I am or what the weather is like.


5. Work my physical strength up

Since my late teens I haven’t been very good with working out. Or yes, in periods I’ve been obsessing over spin classes and so on but I haven’t had the courage to walk into the actual strength section of a gym. This year I’m getting going on working with weights and actually push myself to build up this body of mine and allow myself to get stronger, both in everyday life and when it comes to workouts/running.


6. Get better with staying in contact with family and friends

I’ve always been bad with calling and writing to my friends and family and this has always been something I’ve been ashamed of and disappointed with myself for. Since I came to the US in June I’ve even more so realized that this must change. I’m physically SO far away from my loved ones and our only way of communicating is through Skype/email/letters, therefore I’m deciding to step my game up and in as many ways as possible show my family and friends that I LOVE them. 


7. Eat better

I’m not the one to go on special diets or anything. To be honest, I’m way too lazy. I tend to eat good, smart and healthy food.. Most of the times! But my laziness when it comes to food and cooking sometimes sets me up for terrible choices. This year I’m really going to think about this, be aware and make the right decicion before I just throw whatever’s closest down my throat. I’m planning on getting better with eating breakfast, even the days (lets say 80% of the time) when my husband is totally skipping breakfast and goes straight to late lunch/dinner. I am responsible for my own body, and laziness in the kitchen is not going to make me stronger or faster.


8. Choose JOY

I’ve got a history of depression. It’s been a big part of my life for way too long and now, when I’ve spent a few years actually feeling somewhat “normal” I still struggle to see things from the bright side and stop worrying. This year, I’m going to be more aware and think about being positive and unafraid of life. I’m going to smile more!


9. Run as many races as possible

Once again, obviously I like to run. And what better way to keep the joy and focus when it comes to running than doing races. I’m looking forward to getting more race experience and with that have a lot of fun. We’re not as spoiled with a ton of races here on the Big Island as in many other places, but the ones we have I’m going to do my very best to register for and RUN. One dream of mine is to do a race in Sweden while visiting my family. I’d be SO very happy to have my dear brothers and parents by my side (or maybe dad by my side, running with me?), cheering on me. Maybe not this year, but it WILL happen..


10. Read books in English

I’ve always liked reading, but I’m a real period reader and sometimes months pass without me picking up a book to read. I’m just now, as I moved to the US starting to get used to read books in English and it’s something I’d like to be better with. When reading in Swedish or Norwegian I’m a fast reader (very fast even), but reading in English takes time and it usually makes me get inpatient, give up and put the book away. But this year I’m going to stay patient and ENJOY being able to read in a third language. I have so much to win from it! I’m not going to set up a goal with number of books to be read, I’m just going to go with the flow and push myself to sit down and actually just.. read!


That’s it. Now, let’s go make things happen!


January 1st 2013

How weird is that? It’s a new year. It always takes me awhile to get used to it.

Anyways, it’s been a great first day! I did a 45 minute workout at home with my new exercise gear. Pretty hard on my arms and shoulders, but they sure need to get going towards something a little bit stronger. Right now, my biceps are tiny. Like small green peas. I’ve always been way stronger in legs and abs than arms/shoulders/back and this year is going to be the start of a change when it comes to that. I’ve noticed how much strength training can improve the running and I’m hoping I’ll find some more strength in my running having a stronger upper body in general.

Jan 1st run

I also got my Half training run in. I’m still going on and on with shorter runs. Today was a 2 mile day. Got it done running after my husband to the store to get som errands done. Feeling strong in my legs and my breathing is getting easier and easier (getting used to breathing “right” and not hold it  back as I’ve done before). Feel confident and excited about my Half training program. Right now I’m bothered by a stomach ache since the last couple of runs. I’ve mentioned it on the blog before (in early fall) and since then I’ve been fine.. Until now. But it’s all good, I know it will go away and let me enjoy my runs like normal again.


Oh, and I’ve been starting to write my 2013 goals down. There will be a post coming up here soon! Hope you had a great first day of the year out there!


Half Marathon Training is ON!

Since I ran my first race back in August I’ve been thinking of doing a Half Marathon. The longer I’ve been thinking of it the more I’m craving it. I want to finish a Half. I am going to finish a Half!

Because of a trip to Sweden already being planned for March 18th I’m having a hard time deciding and registering for my Half. You see, I have my mind set on doing my Half in March/April and because of that trip over to Sweden I feel like the way to go is to “get it done” before the trip. Can’t even imagine how hard it would be to finish up training for the Half by not only traveling half way around the world, but also from a tropical climate to a very cold Sweden. No, I don’t even have the right running gear to be running (and preparing for a Half) in temperatures down to -20F and tons of snow in Sweden.

Anyways, knowing that I’m going to leave for Sweden approximately March 18-19 I have two options for running a Half here in Hawaii:

The Hapalua in Honolulu, March 10th

Hilo Half

Hilo International Marathon (But the Half of course), March 17th

I’d really LOVE to be able to do The Hapalua, but because of my husband and I having to deal with a move and finding jobs (and not to mention the giant task ahead of me: getting a Drivers Licence!) we’re not sure we can afford to go to Honolulu for the race. Even though this would be a great layover on our way to Seattle and connecting flights to Europe (plus an opportunity to spend some time with friends in Seattle before we take off to my family) I can’t really seem to convince C that it’s a great plan (you see, this is why I’m wishing my husband was as into running as I am). I’m stressing about it because if we booked everything here soon we’d get tickets/hotel stay a little bit cheaper.

The other way for me to get my Half in is to drive across the Island and do the Hilo Half. This is fine with me, but it will be VERY stressful (if even possible) to catch connecting Sweden flights in Seattle March 18th or 19th. I’m afraid that if this will be my first Half, I’ll spend most of my trip back home slowly recovering from my 13.1 miles instead of being able to actually enjoy the fact that I’ve finished (well, hopefully) my Half.

Whatever happens I’m already on top of my shit. I started on a 12 (with one added week making it a 13 week) training program for the Half. I was feeling kind of rushed while picking one and so far I feel like I might have been better off using a little “tougher” training plan then the one I chose. After asking on Twitter a lot of people recommended following one of Hal Hidgon’s training programs and as I looked into them I started on the “Novice 1” not knowing that there was a “Novice 2” to chose from too for beginner Half programs.. I know the Novice 1 is going to pick up here soon but these first two weeks I’ve felt lazy and kind of bored because of the short runs I’ve had scheduled.

I might mix the program up a little in a few weeks, maybe changing to the Novice 2. I have to see how I feel when I actually get somewhere with this.. Another thing I spend a lot of time thinking of and worrying about a little is how I’ll get the training program timed for one or another of the Half Marathons, thinking of the fact that they’re one week apart.

If any of you out there has any recommendations or advices for me going towards my first Half – bring it on! I’m more than happy to take help from fellow runners. Always.

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Sunday, sunny day

I woke up early today with ONE thing on my mind. Running. I got out of bed and to be honest I had my running shoes laced up before I even got fully dressed (off they went to put some pants on..). I felt great heading out running today, my legs felt light and fast and the temperature was warm but not too warm. The sun hit me though, I need a running hat. That sun beaming on my head is definitely not helping me stay hydrated and fresh.

After my run I stretched some and got on Skype and got to see my mom and my grandparents during an hour long chat. Felt great! But I’m way more homesick now than before that talk. Christmas without my grandparents, parents and my brothers just won’t be 100%. But I’m still looking forward to Christmas, spending it with the man I nowadays call my husband in our home here in Hawaii will be very very nice. Well after some core strength, rolling and stretch and then I walked down to the kitchen where breakfast was served. Once again, my husband is the best.

And then: time for beach! If there’s anything I can’t be without it’s the sun. Sunny days warms my heart and brightens my mood (I’m far from alone with these feelings, I know)..

beach day

It was windy on our “secret” spot in South Point area but we both enjoyed laying down with our books and just relax – far from people and stress. I was smart enough to bring a DrinkChia with me to the beach for refreshment and hydration. Wonderful!

This coming week I’ll be starting on a training program for my Half that I’m hoping to do this coming March. I’m excited. And nervous. And happy! To the training and the Half I say: BRING IT ON! I’m going to do this!

Haven’t decided on which Half to do yet. I was THIS close to register to The Hapalua Half in Honolulu, but we’re not sure we can afford spending the money on the trip over to Oahu and hotel for the weekend of the Half so I might have to go with the Hilo Half (Big Island International Marathon) March 17th. Anyways, I WILL run a Half this spring.

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