As I write this I’m laying in bed under the blanket, I just finished a Lärabar (yeah, it’s my lunch, at 3.40pm) and I actually just stopped crying. Almost.
The start of this year didn’t end up being the way I imagined and pushed for it to be. January 3rd I was forced to stop running due to my foot injury. And not only did the injury stop me from doing something I love to do, but it also took a lot of energy away from me. You know how running can turn a whole day around? You wake up feeling kind of crappy, but you get out there to run and once you’re done running (probably even during the run) everything just feels better. It feels like I’ve had one of those mornings for months now. I just feel off, and I haven’t been able to run enough to shake that feeling off.
Tomorrow is March 17th. That magical date I had in mind for my first Half Marathon. In Hilo, the closest town to where we live. Since I ran my first race in August that half has been on my mind. The thought of finishing my first half have had me SO motivated and made me fall in love running even more (didn’t think it was possible). But yeah, March 17th 2013 is no longer the date.
I know that I keep saying that I stay positive. I remind others of doing it too, but both you and I know that even though you fight really freaking hard to stay positive there’s going to be days when it just doesn’t work. When you give it your all, but it’s still not good enough. I’ve been doing good. I really have. Even though I wish I could’ve just been running this whole time I feel proud of the fact that I was able to focus on other things during the time I spent injured and banned from running. I did good.
But no, it just doesn’t help much today. I really wish today was a day full of pre race jitters, of preparations and lots of focusing on other things not to go nuts because of the nerves. I wanted this day, March 16th 2013, to be the day before the big day. And I wanted it so bad!
Today is a day of emotions spread all over the place. I am sad. Disappointed. And I can’t shake it off, it’s just the way it’s going to be. I didn’t plan on getting injured, who does? And it sucks that it happened. It really does. But of course I’m going to survive! I’m going to cry this out and then move on. I’m lacing on my running shoes at least 3-4 times a week from now on, I’m not running far right now, but I will. I will work hard, re-focus and go get that half!
Nothing, no injury, nothing else either, can take the love of running away from me! And that is what matters in the end. I might have lost 2 months of running, I might have lost some stamina and put on some weight but I haven’t lost my love. I’ll be back. Be warned, whatever Half coming my way… I will get you!